In search of silver linings
The hazards of under-processing our mistakes and the importance of reflection.
It’s important not to wallow for too long in our mistakes, but it seems society today – particularly workplace culture – has an opposite but equally unproductive affliction…
…reaching for that silver lining too quickly.
We are all familiar with someone who over-processes (while interrupting your lunch break). They talk endlessly about what happened, they’re riddled with shame or anger and can’t seem to let go or move past the scenario. The media (ahem) is really great at this.
But all too often today, people and businesses do not account for their actions. This under-processing, called “spiritual bypass” in certain circles, is when we reach for the good in our errors before being fully accountable to the error itself.
We are too quick to reach for the silver lining, coddling ourselves out of feeling the pain and missing the message in that dark, uncomfortable place that leads to real transformation. It’s reminiscent of some modern fringe parenting styles – lots of gooey reassurances and zero ownership.
In businesses where the culture does not support doing the dirty work to address real conflict, the foundation of their creative output and relationships becomes one of ignorance and arrogance.
Finding Your Feet
Rather than ejecting from the discomfort, we want to get grounded in it. Stay in the pain, root down into the resistance, and work to find compassion for all aspects of the scenario. In this approach we can begin to understand the mistake and why it occurred.
Reflection over Projection
Lifelong growth comes from lifelong reflection – not overnight magical self-medicating. Instead of grasping for ways to spin your error into a positive light, the real progress begins when we look at it directly and do the challenging work of making it right – with ourselves, with others, with consumers, etc.
Shifting your perspective around past “wrongs” with adequate reflection and forgiveness means that you will have a higher probability of seeing it coming the next time and finding your feet before you repeat the error.
