The micro-art of celebration and forgiveness.

I used to cringe at the idea of celebrating accomplishments because I believed I should already be accomplished, and consequently I had a hard time joining in the cheer for others’ big moments. I habitually minimized my achievements (and my failures), while I noticed others over-indulging in their wins to a point of self defeating excess.

Why do we care about genuine celebration? And what does your career have to do with it?

Celebrating ourselves and others taps us into a deeper energy of self respect, humility (in my case), and the understanding that success is not a trade-off. Someone else’s accomplishment does not take away from your own ability to grow. Similarly, a win in one area of your own life does not mean another area must suffer.

Rewards all Wrong

Unfortunately, we’ve gotten into the habit of confusing celebratory rewards with indulgent rewards. Think about times you’ve rewarded yourself after a period of achievement – perhaps with junk food, spending a lot of money, binging on something, etc. These types of rewards work to keep you exactly in the same place you were before your recent accomplishments. (see Gay Hendricks’ Upper Limit philosophy)

True rewards are acts that help to honor, elevate or maintain that feeling of self-love that flows after accomplishment. Think of ways you could celebrate yourself in this way – a massage? Taking the afternoon off for a hike outdoors? Or consider the idea that just taking a moment to honor yourself and do a little happy dance is enough.

Celebration is an Act of Self Love

The cycle of celebration is not necessarily overt. It is a series of micro-actions we can take day-to-day and moment-to-moment in honor of ourselves and others. Consequently, we must also be kind when we falter.

1. Celebrate Your Wins

Imagine celebration as a meditation practice. Each time you have a “win” – which could be as simple as crossing something off your to-do list or as internal as having a non-reactive moment to a common trigger – pause.

Really get inside of that feeling of doing something positive and revel in it for a moment. Let that joy grow bigger in your body. The more you do this, the more effortlessly you will resonate with inner and outer joy in your daily life.

2. Forgive Your Losses

Without minimizing, also approach your mistakes or errors with a meditative flow. Again, when you say or do something that lacks integrity or feels like “failure”, pause. The art of meditation is being able to create space between the many movements of our daily lives… between thoughts and actions.

First, acknowledge the error. Then, forgive the error and yourself in the action. Finally, accept your error and your whole self. Note: acceptance before forgiveness can look like complacency or self-enabling rather than self-love.

3. Extend the same Kindness to Others

The power of celebrating (and forgiving) others is infectious. Indeed, many of us find that we actually need to start with rejoicing others before we can do the same for ourselves.

Participating in this process with those around us (a) reaffirms the belief that resources are infinite, that we are all connected, and that someone else’s win elevates us in the process and (b) reinforces the notion that other people’s failings are not a direct affront to our own happiness and they are still infinitely a vessel for love and creativity, as are we even when we fail.

 

What are two ways you can micro-celebrate yourself this week?

What are two areas in your daily life where you can be more compassionate with yourself?